I don't know how I feel. I don't know what to say. I have been blank since last night. Since I saw you. Since I talked to you. Your soft words echo in my head. Again and again. Stop it, stop it please. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to remember it any longer. I don't want to be here. I don't want to feel this way. I don't want the memories. I don't want to know who you are.
I walked to the store earlier. Memories of you. Of me. Memories of us flashed through my mind. Back and forth. Every day with you. I almost tripped. It's hard to breathe. It's hard to think. I stay up at night. Almost until morning. I try to turn it off. All of it. I want to start over. I don't want this. I never wanted this. Sometimes I forget.. about you.. for a minute. And then you're back.
Please leave. Please go. Don't come back. Get out of my mind, please get out of my head. I'm not this strong.
I'm not this way.
I'm a lover, not a fighter. I wanted you to love me back. That's all. I wanted you to love me.
3 comments:
This made me cry, Shekinah.
You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.
I can relate to every word you said
I've been here before sis,
You've seen it. And if anything take my word for it. It's all worth it. Right now, it's hard.. but it will be better. you're doing great.
ILY!
You are stronger than you feel, stronger than you think. Many of us have felt this pain before. Many of us have made it through. You are not alone my love. You are making it through. We love you so much...keep going.
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