This.

I try my best to concentrate on the sound of the water running as I lay there underneath. The sound of the water hitting more water, skin, the shampoo bottle. I think about nothing but the sounds. Different patterns, different tones. Different sounds. Skin feels tight, stomach feels weak. I try to lay there forever. Always do. Only place I am completely alone. As soon as I leave, I want to go back. Drown myself with the overwhelming feeling of peace I only get in this place. I lay still. Silent. Fan. Water. Heartbeat. Fade out. Now I'm in my head. My mind. Memories, feelings, thoughts. I'm thinking things. Could happen. Did happen. Might happen. Will happen. Won't happen. Don't happen. People, places, objects. Feelings, sounds, pictures. Skin turns wrinkly, it's been two hours. Constantly waiting, but not here. Never here. Nothing bad about this time. Everything good, only now. All emotions, together. Apart. Everywhere. Calm, comfort, trust, because I know you'll always be there. Just an object.