I don't want to post another 'sad' 'dark' poem thing about how much pain I'm in...
But I'm finding things to be more and more unfair every day.
I'm hurting more than I ever have.
And I'm running out of reasons to wake up each morning.
I'm running out of excuses for breathing.
What can I tell myself now? He's gone. What do I say?
He's not coming back...
There's a picture of her..
Her hair is blond of course.
And she's got big teeth.... of course..
I know how he likes them. I know better than anyone ever will. I tried so hard..
He never wanted me. He never will.
Each day I changed myself to try to be what he wanted.
Never good enough.
No where near there..
I'm nothing now, I'll be nothing forever. I'm completely wasted, as is my life. My future is also wasted. My time. All of it. And this pain is consuming every inch of me.
I want to fuck up. It's all destroyed anyway. It's all over now, so what's the point? I want to bleed. I want to weigh 70 lbs. I want to sleep around and get AIDS and die.
I want to die.
I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE.
I DON'T WANT TO BE THIS PERSON ANYMORE.
Why can't I be someone else? Why?
I lost the only thing that ever made me feel worth anything. And I'll never get it back. So why am I still here? I have no purpose.
I have no reason.
What good am I?
No damn good.
It's done, I'm done. it's all gone. if there ever really was anything here to begin with. anything there.
And all I can do is blame myself. Every second. It's like my skin is so heavy, and I can't gather the strength to even attempt a half-smile.
The grass is never greener on the other side.
Fuck all of you liars.
I need something... but nobody can give it to me.
Why don't I just go?
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