Monday, September 29, 2008

Calm Meditation Radio.

I'm reading. I made my dad a sandwich. Where is he. It's getting cold. The sandwich is. I'm not tired. I'm thirsty, for so much more than water. I'm hungry. But my stomach is full. My heart is hungry, my mind is empty. Oh no it is not. I am overflowing with thoughts. I am getting dizzy. The room is spinning. My heart is beating faster, and faster... and faster... faster.. until I fade away... I want to fade away. I want to disappear.. I want to melt into the earth..

I burnt my tongue, on this stupid crap I was trying to make for my dad. It was gross. So I made a sandwich.

I need a CD. This is making me feel weird.
My house is empty. I like empty. I like quiet. And I am calm. I am almost peaceful. I am almost emptied of all my thoughts, almost freed From all of the weights sitting on my shoulders.. I am so close. But I am not there. Not there yet. So close, but so far away. It is gone for the moment. It will all be back when I wake up.

2 comments:

paul said...

That sandwich was sooo good. like your righting. Thank you. Peace is coming-- it's creeping up on you.

Anonymous said...

You are so beautiful. Like a single delicate flower. Not an ordinary variety that flourishes in any conditions. You are the rare type. The one that brings the contrast to the ridged environment it grows in. Like a solitary Iris growing in the clefts of a rocky ledge. At first glance, you may think hmm...that is unfortunate that a seed fell in such a rough place...but then you realize it was no mistake. God places beauty in what we may consider to be the most unlikely places. It makes your loveliness that much more apparent for all to see.